What Holds Us

“Rarely, if ever, are any of us healed in isolation. Healing is an act of communion.” — bell hooks, All About Love

I love to approach contact management like a puzzle: How can I help someone with a mind full of innovative ideas keep track of every meaningful connection they make? It's a fun and rewarding challenge. As I sit alone in the dark, surrounded by spreadsheets and data, I think to myself, "I'm helping relationships thrive so much right now." But in my enthusiasm for organization, I sometimes risk losing sight of the very connections I'm trying to nurture. I find myself reducing people and interactions to mere numbers and patterns, rather than seeing them as complex, multifaceted relationships.

This tension between organization and connection is what drew me to the fascinating world of mycelium - the "Wood Wide Web" that connects trees and facilitates the exchange of nutrients and resources. As I learned more about this underground network, I began to see parallels between the natural world and our own systems of connection. The mycelium network is a remarkable example of how interconnected systems can thrive behind the scenes. Baby trees get extra help from their older neighbors who can reach the sun better, while dying trees redistribute their resources to the community. Trees even communicate with each other, both through the underground mycelium network and above-ground hormone exchanges.

These systems have existed for thousands of years, their invisible labor resulting in healthy, visible resource networks between other species, including humans. It's a powerful reminder that connection and community can be just as important as individual achievement. So, I ask myself: what if I approached my own relationships with the same mindset as the forest? What if I recognized that my connections with others are not just individual transactions, but part of a larger web of relationships that sustain and nourish us all?

Do trees need spreadsheets in order to thrive? I'm kind of joking, but yes. Instead of neurons and software, the Wood Wide Web is built by mushrooms. The forest cares for itself through connection, and the systems sustaining that connection run quietly and efficiently out of sight.

As I continue to navigate the complexities of contact management and relationship-building, I'm looking to the forest for inspiration. The natural world shows me that care and connection can be efficient, without the need for explicit control. By valuing the interplay between invisible systems and visible interactions, I'm coming to see that authenticity and organization are not mutually exclusive.

On Wednesday, I'm excited to talk about Contact Relationship Management and how to use it to nurture your network.

And on Friday, I’ll walk through one little method I use to circle back to conversations that matter to me.

For today, I’m just sitting with this:

Who do I want to reconnect with, because my work feels more alive when they’re part of it?